Eesh!

WOW, was SUPER busy at work today! I have officially had 3 cups of espresso/coffee, and I feel like I could bounce off the walls right now.

Anyways, 5 day vacation coming up for the 4th of July holiday, so I wont be able to blog for awhile! :-( Stupid broken computer from hell. Will let ya'll know how the 10/2 Challenge is going when I return! Positive thoughts! I believe in all of you!

Drink espresso!

:-D :-D :-D :-D

Day 3

Day 3 of the 10 Pound/2 Week challenge! 2 pounds down! Woohoo! This might be achievable after all! Which is surprising considering I epicly failed the first day, and yesterday I had a salad from Baja Fresh (salads at restaurants are sketchy. They put so much junk on them), an apple, 2 red peppers, and like 3 chocolate chip cookies (curse you high munchies! Curse you!). Today I'm still food free (not surprising since I'm at work), but have had two cups of coffee. Zing! How bad is creamer and Splenda for you? Shiz... genuine work time. Continue later...

10 Pounds/ 2 Weeks

Starting a new challenge with Hanz to try and lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks. Seems impossible considering Ive been in a rut for like 2 months now. However, I feel like this is the burst I need to get back on track. It technically started yesterday, but my roomie brought one of our various "smoking buddies" home with him and, one thing led to another and I ended up making everybody crab alfredo. Balls. At least I didn't gain any weight. I'm downing water like its my job right now. I want to get myself absolutely sick on water so that I dont even want to look at food.

This is going to be rough. My computer died two days ago. Like the hard drive is shot soooo no more computer for me for the next 6 weeks! Unless I'm at work like right now. So while at home I will have nothing. to. occupy. my. time. Work out? Yeah, of course. But my roommates would get suspicious if I just suddenly became a gym rat. Aaaaaanybody who's read anything Ive written knows I am not. I hate it. The only workout I like is at wrestling. Luckily Ive scheduled 24 hours of it a week into my schedule for this semester. :) NOT including shows on weekends! I will be fit! Excited! However, the next 6 weeks need to be taken seriously. I cannot come back from Los Angeles the same weight as when I left. When people see me they expect to see less of me. Every time. It's come to be the norm. If I don't, they'll wonder what changed. What happened? And then they might look more closely at what I do when I'm at school. Which would be disastrous to say the least. So, yes, 10 pounds in the next two weeks. Maybe 30 in the next 6? That would potentially get me in smaller jeans, which would be an acceptable loss for the summer.

Nothing is acceptable except bones.

We'll get there...

I'm the smallest I've been since I can remember, and it still isn't good enough. I keep making excuses when I get home as to why I eat. I have 6 weeks left in SoCal, and only 50 dollars. I can't AFFORD to eat! Why can't I stop?!

Control.

I will have control.

Not eating is so easy while at work. Once I get home, though... It all goes to hell. Especially when the green comes out.

I'm out of cigarettes. Hell.

I need a hit.

Last day of work for the week! My supervisor isn't mean enough to make me work Fridays. 3 days to not eat. Hopefully 3 of my roomies will be going to San Diego this weekend, so I won't have to answer to them. My other roomie tends to disappear without warning, so no worries there either, haha. Only worry that he'll get kidnapped and I won't notice. I'm such a bad roommate.

Arcade Fire soothes my soul.

So Hot We'll Melt Your Popsicle

I ate an apple today and felt like a failure. Le sigh. I know its absurd, but those feelings just don't go away do they?

California Girls, We're Unforgettable

Fail. Bought cigarettes. *sigh* Ate food. *sigh* Still lost 10 pounds? Win!

Boy #1 is still messing with my head and it makes me want to punch him. Found out my trainer is messing around with someone else. Wtf? WHAT IS GOING ON IN MY WORLD?! On a bright note, my trainer did tell me that there are 3-4 promoters on his case about getting me into the ring quickly. I could not agree more. Only 47 more days in La La Land, and then I return home for my last semester of school, and hopefully the first full semester in my wrestling career. Bring on the training, shows, and opponents! I am so ready.

Just going to stop eating period. Need to look good in ring gear. Missed you, Ana.

California Gurls

Wow. I've been gone for forever. Laaaaame of me!

So I've been in L.A. for over a month for my internship. Gained back like 9 pounds (2 of which I dropped yesterday as I ate mostly fruits and veggies). FML. I'm starting ABC today, but its going to be hard with 4 roommates who like to go out. I will make it work, though!

Life is a mix of super high highs, and super low lows right now. I've had two guys flirt with me only to tell me they won't do more when they don't have feelings involved. Which makes me wonder why the hell its so hard to develop feelings for me! :-( Seriously! Boys are dumb. The end.

I had ANOTHER guy tell me he DOES like me. Good? No. This guy is my wrestling trainer. We really need to keep a platonic relationship for my career's sake. More like I don't want my wrestling career to be dependant on yet another emotional guy who can't possibly handle me. Ugh. I just don't know about people these days.

Loving LA, but missing home, friends, and family. :-(

Getting addicted to the World Cup. Its my entire day plan tomorrow. USA vs Slovenia (we're gonna die) and England vs Algeria (THEY'RE gonna die!) tomorrow! See you then, tv.

I am such a druggie right now.My roommate got his medical marijuana card... Ohhh the fun we've had. At least I quit smoking cigarettes, haha. Which I'm debating going to the grocery store on my break and getting some. They help control hunger! I swear! Ugh... don't do it, moron.

Missed my blog. :-) Missed you all. Get ready for some ABC goodness!

500 cals today. Let's go!