Oh Shit

Can you develop an ED?

Because I ate food today. I didnt really want to, but I wanted to get it out of the apartment and I didnt want to just throw it away (Yeah, I told you I'm the queen of excuses). I told myself I wasn't going to purge afterwards because it wasn't good for me. I would just deal with the consequences.

But when I finished the food I felt disgusting.

I wanted to die. I felt like such a failure.

So I got it out of me. As fast as possible.

So now instead of looking forward to Thanksgiving I am freaking out. What if I try to throw up Thankgiving Dinner?

I know this is becoming a problem.

But every pound lost gives me one more reason to not regret the choices I made.

I'm just worried that it isn't a choice anymore.